Hormones suck
by KlainePotter
Summary: Lily is pregnant and James tries to please her... 'tries' being the keyword. JP/LEorP. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! I revised it!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys i just wanna say that this is my second lily/james oneshot story and i would really love it if you would review!! please!!**

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**Disclaimer: James and Lily rule! If I were JKR, Harry's parents wouldn't have died!**

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**_Hormones suck_**

Lily: James—

James: Whoa! You called me 'James'!

Lily: No kidding, you're my husband.

James: Oh yea… I'm still getting used to it…

Lily: Why did I marry you again?

James: Because you love me!

Lily: Let me rephrase that… Why do I love you?

James: Because I'm irresistible?

Lily: No…

James: Why are we having this conversation?

Lily: Because we can! Now answer me.

James: Um… I DON'T KNOW!

Lily: Fine then… be that way… (pouts)

James: Please don't be sad…

Lily: Then get me some peanut butter and jelly tacos.

James (disgusted): Do those even exist?

Lily: They do now so go get some or make some!

James (under his breath): Cravings suck… Why did I have to get her pregnant?

Lily: You don't love me anymore. I knew you would leave me once I'm pregnant. I knew I shouldn't have let you get to me. I just knew it! (She cries).

James: I'm not ganna leave you.

Lily: Yes you are.

James: No I'm not.

Lily: Yes you are and you're not ganna get me my tacos either…

James: I'm going, I'm going!

Lily (starts laughing): It better have peanut butter and grape jelly!

James: Okay, okay…

James gets some tacos and puts peanut butter on one side and grape jelly on the other.

Lily: Did you put grape jelly?

James (skeptically): Yes…

Lily: I want strawberry jelly now!

James: WHAT??

Lily: What? I have your fat baby in me and he or she wants strawberry jelly now!

James: FINE!

James throws that taco away and gets a new one and outs strawberry jelly on it instead.

Lily: James…

James (about to cry): Now what?

Lily: I love you!

James: I know what you're up to…

Lily: WHAT? I can't even say that I love you??

James: You only say that when you want something so what do you want?

Lily: Fine be that way! I'm going to bed!

Lily snatches the taco from James' hands and scream "You better make some more" before going up the stairs to their room.

James stands there dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what just happened…. Did Lily just say she wants to go to bed at five in the evening? She never goes to sleep that early…. Why are women so crazy? And why are they crazier when they're pregnant? James makes five more tacos and goes to their bedroom. When he gets there he finds Lily laughing her head off.

James: What was that about?

Lily: It's my hormones… I can't help that… they go haywire!!

James: So what _did_ you want?

Lily: Oh…. I was ganna apologize.

James: Oh.

Lily: I'm really sorry but I can't control hormones!

James: Its okay I guess…

Lily: YOU GUESS??

James: Now what did I do??

Lily: You're being James Potter that's what you're doing!

James: Well saw-rry for being myself!

Lily snatches the plate of tacos and eats them in front of James. James was so disgusted that he started to leave when Lily screams "I knew you were ganna leave me!"

James: I'm not leaving I was going to the… um… bathroom…

Lily (pointing in the opposite direction): The bathroom is that way!

James: I know…. I was ganna leave that one empty for you while I go downstairs and—

Lily: LEAVE ME??

James: No!!

Lily: Sit next to me.

James goes and sits next to Lily on the bed cautiously.

Lily: I'm not ganna bite you.

James: I wouldn't put it past you.

Apparently that was a _very_ bad thing to say…

Lily: I TRY TO BE NICE AND YOU GO AND MAKE FUN OF ME!

James: Lily, I'm really sorry…. If you want I'll make you some more tacos?

Lily decides then says: Okay but you better not run away!

James: I won't I promise.

James goes downstairs and makes some more tacos. When he goes back upstairs with the tacos, he finds Lily already asleep. He puts the tacos on the bedside table and covers Lily up. He kisses her and goes to the other side of the bed.

He gets in the bed and puts his arm around her waist. He bends down near her stomach and says: Hey there! I'm your daddy. I can't wait for you to come out so we can play Quidditch."

Lily wakes up and hears James talking to the baby. She puts her hand through his messy hair. She startles James. James looks at her and says: "I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world."

James leans up and kisses her on her lips. Just when James realizes that his world couldn't get any better Lily leans in to him and say: "James, I love you. Could you get some cookies and cream ice cream?"

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I love this story! Tell me if you did too! Or you can tell me if you hated it!! But please leave a review for this lovely person who wrote this story just for you!


	2. Revised!

A/N: Hey guys!!!

I re-wrote this story in a better format. I personally like this better. I think I will delete the other chapter soon! Have fun!

Hormones suck

"James—" started Lily.

"Whoa! You called me 'James'!" exclaimed James.

"No kidding, you're my husband," replied Lily.

"Oh yea… I'm still getting used to it…" mumbled James.

"Why did I marry you again?" wondered Lily.

"Because you love me!" retorted James.

"Let me rephrase that… Why do I love you?" rephrased Lily.

"Because I'm irresistible?" guessed James.

"No…"

"Why are we having this conversation?" asked James, knowing nothing good would come out of it.

"Because we can! Now answer me." Snapped Lily.

"Um… I DON'T KNOW!" James said frustration evident in his voice.

"Fine, then… be that way…" Lily said, dejectedly.

"Please don't be sad…" begged James.

"Then get me some peanut butter and jelly tacos." Demanded Lily.

"Do those even exist?" James inquired with disgust.

"They do now, so go get some or make some!" commanded Lily.

"Cravings suck… Why did I have to get her pregnant?" James muttered under his breath.

"You don't love me anymore. I knew you would leave me once I'm pregnant. I knew I shouldn't have let you get to me. I just knew it!" cried Lily.

"I'm not ganna leave you," Exclaimed James to a dejected Lily.

"Yes you are," insisted Lily.

"No I'm not," James said stubbornly.

"Yes you are and you're not ganna get me my tacos either…" Lily exclaimed.

"I'm going! I'm going!" retorted James.

"It better have peanut butter and grape jelly!" said Lily with a smirk.

"Okay, okay…" said James dejectedly.

James got some tacos and put peanut butter on one side and grape jelly on the other.

"Did you put grape jelly?" Lily called from the living room.

"Yes…" James said, suspiciously.

"I want strawberry jelly now!" demanded Lily.

"WHAT??"

"What? I have your fat baby in me and he or she wants strawberry jelly now!" Lily commanded.

"FINE!"

James threw that taco away, got a new one and put strawberry jelly on it instead.

"James…" Lily called from the living room… again.

"Now what?" whined James.

"I love you!" exclaimed Lily.

"I know what you're up to…" said James.

"WHAT? I can't even say that I love you??" asked Lily, outrageous by James' behavior.

"You only say that when you want something so what do you want?" James explained.

"Fine be that way! I'm going to bed!" said a stubborn Lily.

Lily snatched the taco from James' hands and screamed "You better make some more" before going up the stairs to their room.

James stood there dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what just happened…. Did Lily just say she wanted to go to bed at five in the evening? She never went to sleep that early…. Why were women so crazy? And why were they crazier when they're pregnant? James made five more tacos and went to their bedroom. When he arrived there he found Lily laughing her head off.

"What was that about?" inquired James.

"It's my hormones… I can't help that… they go haywire!!" explained Lily.

"So what _did_ you want?" asked James.

"Oh…. I was ganna apologize." Lily informed James.

"Oh."

"I'm really sorry but I can't control hormones!" apologized Lily.

"It's okay I guess…" said James, hesitantly.

"YOU GUESS??" inquired Lily.

"Now what did I do??" asked James.

"You're being James Potter that's what you're doing!" Lily informed.

"Well saw-rry for being myself!" replied James.

Lily snatched the plate of tacos and ate them in front of James. James was so disgusted that he started to leave when Lily screamed "I knew you were ganna leave me!"

"I'm not leaving, I was going to the… um… bathroom…" James made up.

Lily pointed in the opposite direction. "The bathroom is that way!"

"I know…. I was ganna leave that one empty for you while I go downstairs and—"

"LEAVE ME??"

"No!!"

"Sit next to me," said a VERY hormonal Lily. Her mood swings were back in motion.

James went and sat next to Lily on the bed cautiously.

"I'm not ganna bite you." Lily consoled him.

"I wouldn't put it past you." James mumbled.

Apparently that was a _very_ bad thing to say…

"I TRY TO BE NICE AND YOU GO AND MAKE FUN OF ME!" Lily yelled.

"Lily, I'm really sorry…. If you want I'll make you some more tacos?" James bribed.

Lily decided for a second then said. "Okay but you better not run away!"

"I won't," promised James.

James went downstairs and made some more tacos. When he went back upstairs with the tacos, he found Lily already asleep. He put the tacos on the bedside table and covered Lily up. He kissed her head and went to the other side of the bed.

He got in bed and put his arm around her waist. He bent down near her stomach and said, "Hey there! I'm your daddy. I can't wait for you to come out so we can play Quidditch."

Lily woke up and heard James talking to the baby. She put her hand through his messy hair, startling James. James looked at her and said, "I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world."

James leaned up and kissed her on her lips. Just when James realized that his world couldn't get any better Lily leaned in to him and said, "James, I love you. Could you get some cookies and cream ice cream?"

Disclaimer: James and Lily rule! If I were JKR Harry's parents wouldn't have died!


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